Chapter 14 Mother

8:47 AM

In January, Robert contacted Alicia’s mother and was welcomed with a bitter tea in communist-era glasses and silver glass holders, and an apple pie. Alicia’s mother, Ewa, was living alone in the same flat that she did for over fifty years. It had two small rooms, old furniture, unchanged carpets and outdated tiles in the bathroom, which badly needed renovation. In comparison with Alicia, she didn’t have the grace and beauty of a fashionista and a dancer. She looked as if her whole life she had devoted to work and it was hard work, possibly even physical. Her face was wrinkled, her hands were worn from the years of effort and her eyes showed tiredness and distance.

‘Have you had any news about your daughter?’

‘Unfortunately no. The police have stopped coming for some time now. They apparently gave up. My son said that she probably wanted to get away from it all, maybe she met someone and escaped for some time, but he is consoling me, I’m sure.’

‘Can you tell me something about your daughter?’ Robert was biting into the cake and had to admit that even though it didn’t look great, it had excellent taste and went well with the bitter black tea, ‘It can be helpful. I haven’t given up on her yet.’

Alicia’s mother smiled, approached the cupboard, took her old photo albums and showed the pictures to Robert. He had already seen some of the photos, recognized Alicia’s brother and her friend, Anna. He looked at pictures from ballet recitals, modern jazz performances, summer holidays and studies. The older were the siblings, the fewer pictures there were in the albums. He witnessed how children were getting bigger and how their mother grew older and more tired each year.

‘I never knew much about her personal life. I was a single mother, I had two children, whom I had to raise. I was working a lot. During the summer, I sent them to my mother to the village or made sure that someone checked up on them here when they were older. I went to Germany for work. I was collecting seasonal fruit and vegetables to be able to afford books, clothes, and some extra things for the kids. We didn’t have alimony, it was hard. I was paying for this flat my whole life. I made sure that children were fed and dressed well, that Alicia had her ballet classes paid for, that Leon could go to the swimming pool and football classes. I paid for Alicia’s language school, for Leon’s studies. I didn’t know them that well. They didn’t confess to me that much. I guess they also didn’t want to worry me.’

‘So you didn’t know that Alicia got married?’

‘To Victor, this French businessman? Of course that I knew. We were invited to her wedding. It was the first time I was in Paris. I was proud that my daughter had such a fabulous life. Big world, different language. She worked for a magazine, not in the field of strawberries. And she married rich. It’s a dream come true for every mother, especially that children were raised without fathers.’

‘What happened to their father?’

‘They had two different fathers. Well, they both disappeared after some time. One sooner than another. They played the father part for a surprisingly short time. I was naive and young, I hoped that they would help me financially, support us. But quickly, I had my eyes opened. I was left with two children and a lot of work. You have to understand, I was working, they had to care for themselves.’

‘Did they, I mean did Alicia and Leon, help you?’

‘Of course, Alicia sent all her money from Paris to Leon to help him buy his flat, Leon helped me all his life, he came here, helped with the flat, did the grocery shopping. They did for me as much as I did for them when they were children. I cannot complain about them. They never caused any trouble, they learned well, finished studies, worked. I have good children, believe me.’

‘I never doubted it. I’m just at a loss where she might be. And usually, when there’s no sign for such a long time, it means...’

‘That she’s dead?’

‘I didn’t want to make you sad. You shouldn’t lose hope.’

There was a doorbell that disturbed the conversation between Robert and Alicia’s mother. The woman left to open the door and welcomed another woman into the flat. She was a plump, short, red-headed lady dressed in a plain gray sweater dress. She carried some grocery bags, which she left on the table.

‘This is Paulina, Leon’s wife.’

‘His ex-wife, mum.’ Paulina added in an as-a-matter-of-fact way, ‘I’m not planning to stay here, I just brought you the shopping and I’m off.’

Robert stood up.

‘I’m going as well, I will walk you off,’ he offered and Paulina looked at this handsome man and just couldn’t say no.

‘Thank you for this delicious cake, I hope that soon there will be some news about Alicia and that she’s well.’

He smiled at Alicia’s mother, but she didn’t smile back as if she had already lost hope that she would see her daughter again.

‘So you were married to Alicia’s brother?’ Robert walked the woman along the streets of Warsaw. She lived just a few blocks from Alicia’s mother, thus she was able to help her with the groceries.

‘Yes, for a couple of years. It wasn’t the happiest marriage on earth if I can be honest with you. But I’m still friends with his mother. She’s a kind and generous woman. Even after the divorce, we kept in touch.’

‘And do you keep in touch with Leon?’

‘We call each other once in a while. I don’t visit his mother when I know that he will be at her place.’

‘I’m sorry if I’m being too nosy, but why did you divorce?’

Paulina laughed, but it was a bitter sweat laughter.

‘I knew he didn’t love me. You feel this. I remember that when I had my leg broken and went to the hospital, he didn’t even bother to visit me. And when Alicia had some trouble in Paris, he could run off in the middle of the night and jump on the last plane. He was obsessed with his sister. I just couldn’t stand comparisons. I didn’t speak French, I didn’t dance, I wasn’t as beautiful as her. Never good enough. I just built up my dignity and left. He wasn’t that much devastated, which ensured me about my decision. Some people are better off alone.’

In the evening, Robert and Lena were sitting at the table, playing cards and drinking a bottle of cider, biting on butter cookies that Lena bought in the shop downstairs.

‘Would you like to get married?’ Robert asked.

‘Me? Why do you ask?’

‘I’m not proposing anything, think about the possibility. Would you like to get married, taking into account that you are married not for love, but for some other practical reason, money, flat, career?’

‘I don’t know. Sometimes you get married for the right reasons and you are being cheated. Some people don’t treat the promise of marriage as seriously as others. Why did you get married?’

‘Because my wife was pregnant. I was afraid of her father and I felt responsible for the child.’

‘So you felt a sense of duty. That’s it. You got married because you had to. If you treat it like this, then this marriage doesn’t really make sense. Talking about love, would you like to marry Anton?’

‘I cannot marry Anton. Not in Poland.’

‘But you can go to Scotland, the UK, Germany, anywhere where it is possible.’

‘That’s true. But can you assure me that this marriage will mean that it will work between us.’

‘Unfortunately, I can’t.’ Lena took another butter cookie, ‘And would you be with someone who is already married?’

‘As a lover?’

‘As a lover.’

‘It depends. I don’t think I would like to be the second option. But people get married for various reasons. Especially, when they have children. And they value their family’s opinion and reputation more than they value their own happiness. I would take that into account. Why do you ask?’

‘Just theoretically’, Lena hid her face behind the glass of cider ‘When are you going to Paris?’

‘Next week. You would never guess who is going with me.’

‘Anton?’

‘No, he had already been to Paris. He’s not that excited.’

‘Then who?’

‘Edward.’

‘You’re flying with him?’

‘He promised to invite me to Moulin Rouge and a few expensive restaurants under the condition that I’ll accompany him around the city. You can’t say no to traveling in style!’

Lena laughed and almost choked on the butter cookie she was chewing at that time.

‘And you will have to take care of the cat, I’m afraid.’